That's just what cook and ex-Navy SEAL Steven Seagal is, when a group of terrorists led by psychotic CIA operative Tommy Lee Jones commandeers the battleship U.S.S. Missouri and nuclear arsenal, forcing him to use his martial arts and military skills to stop them. Action smash co-stars Erika Eleniak, Gary Busey, and Patrick O'Neal. 103 min. Standard and Widescreen (Enhanced); Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, Spanish Dolby Digital Surround stereo, French Dolby Digital Surround stereo; Subtitles: English, French, Spanish; filmographies; theatrical trailer.

Steven Seagal can consider himself lucky if he ever makes a better movie than this one, which was appropriately dubbed "Die Hard on a battleship" when released in 1992. Seagal handles the heroic duties with his usual wooden efficiency, but the movie's greatest assets are a punchy script and the scene-stealing performances of Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey. The two play leaders of a terrorist group who take over the venerable battleship USS Missouri during its final commissioned voyage. They're crazed psychotics who seize control of the ship's nuclear arsenal, but they don't know that Seagal--as the ship's cook, no less--is a former Navy hero, lurking in the shadows and waiting to spoil their nefarious scheme. Director Andrew Davis (The Fugitive) helms the action with skillful style, and as the cheesecake stripper who proves handy with a hand grenade, Playboy Playmate-turned-actress Erika Eleniak gives Seagal another reason to strut his macho stuff. Under Siege is hormonal hokum for gun-happy viewers, but as action movies go, this one's a definite guilty pleasure. --Jeff Shannon